Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
