too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
