I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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