And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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