shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize