It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
