i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
