I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
