Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
