remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
