I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It was a blind-side dick pic.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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