her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
