Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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