I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
