okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
