So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
