is your mom at the bar?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
