By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
