She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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