Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
