This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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