I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
