I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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