Pappa wants mamma naked
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
