ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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