He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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