I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
