I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm sobbing to NWA
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
