you will always have a special place in my vag
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
