her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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