It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
