i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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