Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
