come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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