remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
is that a dick in a sweater?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
