Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
