omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
