READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
