So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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