I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
