Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
