I wish i was in the wii world.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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