Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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