no, he came in my armpit
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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