no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
