Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
