just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
