He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
