Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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