well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
