I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
