my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
