I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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