sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
