y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
