well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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