in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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