His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
be right there i have to get my cape
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
