Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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