I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
