Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
