Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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