If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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