I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
