Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
