Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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