Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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