I think I am morally bankrupt
Just cropdusted the office
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
