Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
MIDGETS
????
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
