The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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